‘Hottest Hell Tours’ is the unholy marriage of lifelong New Orleanians, and a historian.
Creators of ‘Walking the Devil’s Empire,’ a tour through the shadows of New Orleans and its disturbing past, they are one of the most sought-after teams of paranormal storytellers on the planet.
Hi, welcome to Hottest Hell.
Isn’t it weird how “About Us” sections are always written in the third person? Even though everyone knows its really the company owners sitting behind their computer, possibly in pajamas, awkwardly telling their own story?
Hottest Hell considered putting on PJ’s and trying to write in the third person, but they’re really more into Gothic dresses and fitted black tee shirts, so they just decided to skip all that and focus on writing this page like it was a letter to a friend.
Which in many ways, it is.
But maybe that’s not the kind of info you’re looking for.
You’re probably wondering:
Are these guys worth my precious time and attention?
So, let’s cut to the chase. For many readers, our answer is NO.
Here’s why:
A lot of people think “Supernatural/Ghost Tour of New Orleans” means “terrifying ghost hunt in a dilapidated haunted mansion during a lightening storm, served with a side order of demon conjuring and also maybe I’ll have a fling with a vampire.”
We get it. This city has a truly dark story to tell. That’s what attracted many of us to haunted tours years ago.
We too thought spirits would reveal themselves with casual ease, just like other tour companies in the city say they will. We were confident we’d come face to face with the afterlife, maybe even post some selfies with long deceased pirates to Instagram every now and then, because New Orleans, right?
But of course life it doesn’t work that way, and neither does death. Whether your tour is with us or with anyone else, no one can promise you this. And honestly, no one should.
Think of the spirit realm as a radio station with a weak signal, one we often only hear when moving between stops on the dial. That spirit signal is always there, but the living are so loud. It’s not as easy to tune in as it was in 1900. Getting a listen requires patience, positioning, and luck.
So if you’re looking for ghosts to pop out at you like a haunted jack in the box, we 100% get the interest...but we’re not what you’re looking for.
Don’t worry, we’re not saying the tour isn’t frightening, or that it’s a two-hour debunking session. It can get pretty dark. Here’s why we’re telling you this.
Start going down the “New Orleans Ghost Tour” rabbit hole, and you’ll see all kinds of ads and articles about our most haunted locations, the frequency with which people encounter spirits, supposed “hidden secrets” of the French Quarter, living vampires, and all kinds of hype on people crying, vomiting, or blacking out on the tour route.
Is any of it legit? Maybe some of it, although I’m sure most people are vomiting in our streets for very different reasons.
Nonetheless, if you come to expect this to define your tour, you’re likely to be let down. How would you feel if you forked over your money and spent your precious time in this city on an experience framed in gimmicks and embellishments?
That is a waste of time. If you want to waste time, go see a movie. It’s more fun.
If we share stories of legend or lore, we’ll tell you in advance. They can be fascinating as all hell, and in some cases could be accurate, but we’re not interested in presenting them as documented facts. If you want embellishments about our town, just binge watch American Horror Story: Coven. Season 3. It’s on Netflix.
It’s important you understand what we’re telling you here.
We CAN host you, we just won’t. We’re capable of it, but we refuse to do it.
Why?
The good news is, it’s not because we don’t like you, or are in favor of prohibition. However, when we hear someone say, “Where’s the bar? Do we stop for drinks?”, what we’re really hearing is, “I’m not fully invested in this excursion, and therefore I have little regard for the experience of others in the group or respect for my guide.”
And that really translates to “It doesn’t actually matter to me if I’m here.”
Look, this tour is aimed at being both entertaining and educational. At the end of the day, we’re in the quality of life business. We want you to love this city as much as we do. But this tour is billed as ‘Adults Only’ because we expect everyone to act like adults. Does that mean you can’t drink responsibly? NO. Does that mean you cannot have a fantastic time? This tour would be crap otherwise.
But we take the subject matter as seriously as we take your enjoyment of it, as well as your safety.
Even if heavy drinking is not your bag, most other companies are indifferent to the behavior of their guests. Imagine getting stuck on a two-hour tour with a handful of people that can barely stand up (shudders).
You’re Still Here? Good.
• Exhaustively researched, engaging, and often horrific stories of the city of New Orleans
• Blatant invitations to take our tour
Yes, we make our money by selling stuff. We will try to sell you some things and not be subtle about it. We will never be the cheapest tour in town. There are two types of travelers in this world: those who only consider cost, and those who make efforts to curate their vacation with quality experiences.
Our invitations are always preceded by great content via the blog, emails, or social media. You get that without ever setting foot in the city of New Orleans.
That’s free.
The idea is you’ll say, “Man, this free stuff is really intense/exciting/creepy/funny/entertaining/educational. I think I’ll try the paid stuff and see some of these places they talk about.”
Pretty simple, right?
I call it the old “Demonstrate that you can add value to your guest’s life by actually doing so” trick.
Works like a charm.
But you still might be wondering…
Well, would you be open-minded about checking out our free materials or following us on Facebook and Instagram?
If you like it, you’ll probably like our tours.
If you don’t like it, you won’t. Sound fair enough?
After Hurricane Katrina, despite the nationwide contributions of support by many, there were a few, outspoken public figures who spread misinformation about this town and more importantly challenged its right to exist. Don’t worry, we’re not about to get political.
Personally, our families have been here since the 1860s, and in August of 2005, we sat in a remote location far away from home and watched the water rise around everything that we once knew and loved. Given some of the rhetoric, we developed the impulse to advocate for our city and tell its story in a way that people would find both truthful and enchanting. We wanted people to not just consider this city’s right to exist but instead agree to its NEED to exist, for all of us. On a planet that orbits the sun at 67,000 miles per hour, it’s essential to allow a small piece of our world to stand completely still. That piece is New Orleans, the city that time forgot. A sliver of land steeped in death and tragedy, and yet a home for many to feel alive for the very first and maybe only time. We welcome you here, with open arms.
So, we became tour guides.
But we didn’t start our company from day one.
Instead, we worked for existing companies and pounded the pavement for years.
We deepened our research and acquired extensive customer feedback. We tweaked and refined our stories and delivery in a way that made every effort to raise the standards of our industry. But there was only so much that we could do from the inside of another organization. And after some time, we became disenfranchised by the very thing that brought us to giving these tours in the first place. No, not the love of New Orleans, but the spread of misinformation and a general lack of regard for the city’s reputation. It didn’t seem to be a priority to those we worked for.
Did our disappointment matter? Yes and no. The ghost tours across town continued to fill up with no signs of slowing down. Some nights the lines at check-in would be 200 people deep. It became a race to see who could sell tickets for the lowest price and crank out as many visitors as possible. Customer satisfaction plummeted. Did many of the tour operators mind? No. They knew they’d likely never see your face again, and you didn’t know what you didn’t know.
Anyway – for a few now wealthy individuals, it worked. Kind of.
But for us? Enough was enough. The stories of the dead deserved better. New Orleans deserved better. And YOU deserve better.
So, after years of effort, experience, and a desire to change things for our visitors, we’ve created ‘Hottest Hell Tours.’
And this is how we got our start as the premiere Ghost Tour experience in our city. Bound together by a shared love of true crime, esoterica, and a wild passion for storytelling, we dove into the catacombs of New Orleans. We poured over writings, photos, and documents by Aleister Crowley, William Faulkner, Louis Armstrong, Tennessee Williams, Kid Ory, Anne Rice, Truman Capote, Stephen Ambrose, Dan Baum, James H. Dillard, Andre Codrescu, John Travis Nixon, and many more long since departed souls who have helped document the murders, music, and mayhem of The Crescent City for over 301 years.
Fast forward to today, and we’ve hosted an array of incredible individuals from all over the world.
We’ve become the “go-to guys” for thousands of people, conventions, and parties, and are proudly in our fifth year of operations.
More than anything, our focus is to show you an unforgettably entertaining and safe experience in New Orleans. How you end up feeling about this city is far more important to us than how you feel about our company, yet I’m willing to bet you’re a lot like we are. You want to go beyond beads and baubles. If we can offer you that, would you say you’ve found what you are looking for?
We’ve created the tour ‘Walking the Devil’s Empire,” a look back through the dark veil at the sinister and supernatural energies lodged in every brick of this town.
The stories can at times be unsettling, and at times hilarious, but rest assured we recognize that discussions of life, death, spirituality, and the paranormal can become a deeply personal experience for many. Sometimes nearly as personal as these stories were to the people that lived them. We handle the subject matter with competence, cohesion, and respect, all without losing our dramatic flair.
So, what happens next? At this point you’ve got a few options: Roll the dice on another tour company, do nothing at all, or give us a try and see how it feels. What’s going to be easiest for you?
I’m guessing you haven’t made a decision yet, but before you make up your mind, go to our blog and read some of the articles we’ve posted.
If you like them, then sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media.
If you get some value out of it, here’s where most people consider taking a tour with us.
Pretty simple, right?
Thanks for reading this page and have an amazing time in our twisted little town!
